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I was both excited and terrified to become a stay at home momma. I worked a great job that was extremely flexible. They worked with my schedule as much as possible. But I was still missing moments.

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We were very fortunate to have family who watched our boys when we had to work. My wonderful sister in law would pick my oldest up for school. I would arrive to get the boys about an hour after school. By that time my oldest had lost all interest and excitement to tell me what happened at school that day. I would ask what he did at school and his response was usually “Nothin”. I was starting to feel slightly jealous that my sister in law was hearing all about his day and there was a ‘nothing’ left for me. This jealously started to spill over at work. I was starting to dislike the job I always loved so much. It was time for the change I knew that but why was I so panicked by the idea?

I felt I was losing this sense of independence and self worth by leaving my job. I had so many questions running through my head

“People will think I have no skills and that is why I stay home?”  
“Will my kids think I just don’t work?”  
“What about women who fought for my right to work. Am I letting them down?”
“Will we be able to pay the bills?”

All these questions made my transition to stay at home long and drawn out. I gradually left work instead of just doing it. But working the farm and taking care of the house and kids and working was wearing me thin making me short and miserable.

I finally made the switch to a stay at home momma. For the past year I have been learning what a blessing it is to be apart of their everyday moments. I have also been learning how hard it is! For the next while I will be sharing my stay at home momma fails and triumphs.

First things first ‘The Routine’. In an earlier post I spoke to this and got some wonderful advice. I also found great inspiration on Abundant Mama. I hope that you too can find some inspiration there too.

Here’s to early mornings in the new year! I will be attempting to be out of bed by 4:45pm each day. I am shedding a tear as I write this! More to come.

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